It’s almost funny to me that I thought that I would have a school year that was less stressful. The last four to five weeks have been honestly just as busy as last school year. And honestly, this week has been a bit rough for me in a lot of ways. So, if you’re reading this wondering what fabulous things I’m doing and want to see the positive, optimistic posts you may/may not be used to....this won’t be like that. And before you start coming up with ways to cheer me up or advice to give me, just stop. That’s not what this post is either. Think of this more as a journal entry in the life of Elizabeth, the “man behind the curtain.”
Especially after a week like this, I start to feel like the Wizard of Oz, although I don’t think I’m in charge of anything as magical as Oz. This week I was a chaperone on a high school trip, and while I’m so grateful for the experience, I’m exhausted. There was a thunder/lightning storm while I was gone and the power went out at my house on like Wednesday (?) night. Fortunately, my neighbors’ power went out and my landlord restored power that night. However, this morning none of my ACs were on any more due to the power loss, my hot water wasn’t working and my internet is down. I also have a ridiculous amount of laundry to do after just a week, but maybe its a compilation of the last three weeks of busyness that make the laundry feel like a lot. I also need to file my insurance claims to get reimbursed for some things, I need to order contacts, I need to make a chiropractor appointment, I need to change my residency status back to Texas, I need to finish lesson plans past the next two days, I need to mail packages for about five different people. I need to start/complete my online trainings before the deadline (for once). There’s a lot. And I know we all have a lot. And honestly, I’m an independent, bad ass women who can do anything she wants to, including completing a to do list. But this morning, all I can think, is that I don’t want to. At least not by myself. At this moment, I’m tired of doing things by myself.
Maybe the fact that in my “main circle” of friends back in Texas I’m now the lone wolf so to speak is having a strange delayed effect on me. Maybe I’m just really freaking tired because I’ve literally done SO MUCH just in the last month. From flying back to Japan, starting school, flying back to the US, then back to Japan, then preparing things to be gone for a week, to working for a whole week from 7 am to 9 pm and socializing with a whole bunch of new people, to getting stuck in a traffic jam for four plus hours. I have plenty of reasons to be tired. Lol. It would be awesome if I could just like fade into the background for a few weeks and just sort of like catch up on life, or catch up to my life. Maybe this will like fade into the background as well.
It’s somewhat ironic that this post is mostly about not wanting to do things on my own anymore, when I’m so grateful to have some quiet time with out people today. A friend invited me to play Pokémon with her, and most of the time, I push past the urge to say no and say yes and have a fantastic time. But I felt very certain that would not be true for today. Fortunately, the weather in Tokyo is DELIGHTFUL. Like, there could be a tad bit more sun and it would be a perfect day in my books. But I’m sitting at one of the local train stations, I have some gluten free baked goods from a local bakery and a delicious salty caramel latte from Tully’s, sitting outside listening to the trains, buses, outdoor big screen and a super emo playlist, writing this blog. Afterwards, I’m going to go play some solo Pokémon, find me some delicious gyoza, find a big claw machine room and just enjoy a day doing whatever I want. So I’m happy, I’m just tired.
I keep imagining people writing comments on here about how I just need to “be patient” and “wait for the right person” and honestly those two sentences might be the single most frustrating sentences that someone can say to me. Other than, here’s that pickle you asked for. Ugh!! Lol. I don’t need words of encouragement or any other bs thing. I just need some understanding for the next week or so while I “recover” and say no to a lot of social engagements, while I eat lunch in my room instead of the work room, while I probably ignore your text messages/snapchats if they require direct conversation. Except for you mom and dad. Your daily video chats shouldn’t stop. :)
I guess I should put a few things about Japan in here to make it officially part of the blog. This Friday I’m going to my first “Japanese baseball game” and I’ve signed up for a wine festival with some friends in a few weeks. I’m approaching my one year mark here, September 26th. I’m getting more determined to actually learn Japanese the longer I’m here. I tried the corn from a vending machine last night, my kids on the trip convinced me it was good and it was pretty much the only food option we had. It was way better than the vending machine “Iced Mocha” that I had.
In other news, I keep having this dream that I’m cutting big chunks of my hair off with a big pair of scissors, just a big chunk and always out of anger. I’ve had it probably like five times in the past ten days, anyone have any insight on this dream? (Yes, now I want your opinion...Hahahaha)
Well, my watch just told me that it was time to get up and move. So I gotta go catch em all....
Until next time
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