Hey readers! As I start this, I wonder if I will have more readers this month due to everyone's sudden surge of more free time. I wanted to write a blog for a few reasons. I'm a part of the site, "HitRecord" where people collaborate in different creative projects. Last week (or maybe the week before, who really knows) I participated in a project titled "Dear Younger Self." In really sitting down and thoughtfully writing that letter, I was reminded of how much I enjoy those type of writing assignments. It helps process things and stuff. But also, this is just a really unique time in our lives and I want to have documentation of someway. Before I left Texas, I was a strict journal keeper. Since I left Texas in 2015, I've probably written like maybe 6 or 7 journal entries. I have this romantic notion that some day my children (or more realistically, my nieces/nephews and their children) will find my journals and be fascinated by the life that I lived after I'm gone. hahaha. Like I'm so special..
But also, because I wanted to share my own experiences during this social distancing/quarantine/corona virus as it is right now. I've already written one blog about the beginning of the outbreak, but that was before things shut down.
So for just about all of us things are looking much different now than they were just a little over a month ago. These days I'm doing this online/remote/virtual/at-home teaching thing from home. I like that I keep reading different articles like people know the right term for what it is we are doing, or the right way to do what it is we are doing. Each district, school, grade-level, content area, and classroom has to figure out how to help their kids through this the best way they can. Just like parenting, everyone has their own outlook about what that should be. I feel like it is important to hold kids to the same high standard of work, while reducing the amount of work they're responsible for. That's my personal belief statement. I think this pandemic is causing many of us to re-evaluate or establish our own belief statements. I'm enjoying some of the "perks" of working from home: short commute, no dress code, easy access to coffee, restrooms and food, and lunch breaks that include the possibility of netflix, reading or puzzle-ing. I miss planning activities with my students and seeing their faces when they finally get a concept that they've struggled with, or hearing them share their reasoning with a classmate in a way they didn't think they could. I miss hearing their laughs and seeing their faces. I miss chatting with my coworkers in the hallway at the start of our preps or the end of the school day. There were not many days that the five of us were not standing outside room 210 sharing our frustrations, joys or random laughs with each other. I'm fortunate that Shelley and I have made an effort to FaceTime with each other on most school days. I've learned how to use all this technology that I just didn't have time to figure out before.
Personally, in a LOT of ways, most of my days look the same as they did before. I've been finding new ways to feel my time and stick to some kind of routine since the start of 2020. But the week of Spring Break led to a series of "Bad Mental Health" days in a row for me. I wanted to write about it, not for any other reason than I hope that it helps you recognize your own "bad mental health" days. As I discussed with my counselor, I recognized on Tuesday of that week that I was not in a good place, but I couldn't shake it off. Instead, I sunk into the "darkness" and just sort of let it consume me a little bit. Most days that week, I seriously barely moved from my couch. I completed a Marvel Movie Marathon, watching 19 of the 22 movies through Endgame. I watched several seasons of the Mindy Project and Grey's Anatomy and only talked to my parents once or twice. Like most things, by trying to keep it secret, I gave it more power over me. I recognize that I have to make sure I talk to people on those days that my "anxiety/depression/poor mental health" tell me that I shouldn't talk to anyone, or that I don't want to talk to anyone. I'm fortunate to have some friends who have scheduled regular game/chat nights, where we share some drinks virtually and play a game. I have also spent some time with a few friends following social distancing protocols on base. I do have to say that I'm amused at some of you back in the states who are suddenly "BIG FANS" of these video chats/virtual communication NOW THAT IT IS THE ONLY WAY you can talk to people. My peeps who live overseas have been using these methods for a while now. I'm very grateful for a great friend who gave the advice to just not plan too far in advance, so mostly that's my plan these days. I don't know when things will be "normal" and I don't know when I will get to be in Texas again with my family. I'm hopeful that it will be this summer, but I'm not planning on it.
I'm also fortunate that I have a counselor that I started seeing several months ago. She has me working on some mindfulness techniques that have helped me not get overwhelmed and consumed with my thoughts as I sometimes often do. I haven't really spent much more time studying it or reading about it but honestly some of the techniques have really helped me manage my anxiety a bit more. I am able to let go of some things, at least mostly. I've found my optimism again! I do still have some low mental health days, this weekend was one of those for sure. I had a friend asked me if I was getting depressed and I told her no, but thanks for asking. I'm really grateful for that. If you feel like your mental health is struggling these days, reach out to someone. If you notice people aren't reaching out, try reaching out to them. Sometimes when you've sunk into the sink hole of depression it's hard to see anyone outside of it. Times like this it takes someone outside the hole to see you to help you even realize that you're inside the hole. I've seen lots of posts about supporting this type of person or that type of person and I have an idea that I hope sticks around long after the corona virus is gone. How about we just care for each other? How about we think of how our actions affect those around us before we think of ourselves? I keep seeing all these people talking about "me, me, me, me" and for the first time in our lifetimes, it's this kind of thinking that can and has actually destroyed lives.
Well, I think I've rambled on enough for today. It's almost 10 PM here in Tokyo. I'll probably be doing this again sometime during this quarantine. I need things to distract me from the fact that I haven't been to the chiropractor or to get a massage in 8 weeks. Or that I've cooked 9,456 meals at my house and done all the dishes that goes with them. I'm glad Netflix doesn't record the number of hours that I watch it...that combined with Disney Plus and Hulu...it would be a shameful amount. lol
I'm watching the OG Parent Trap today, after watching Star Wars III and Rogue One. I had too many missing assignments to start grading things tonight, so I indulged myself. lol
Until next time!
