So it’s finally Spring Break and I honestly started to wonder if it was ever going to be here...with my friends in the States on break weeks ago and a whole series of like just bad days especially emphasizing the lack of a break.
What’s ironic (or something) is that the last few weeks I’ve had all these ideas for a blog, but no time to post them. Now, I have time and my brain has like really taken a break that I really don’t remember what I wanted to write about at the time. However, I have some new stuff on my mind, so I’ll share that. Sit back and relax as you take a trip into the scary world that is my head...at least the stuff suitable for the internet.
As I sit here gathering my thoughts and deciding where to start, the first thing that comes to my mind is my insisting from the age of like 19-25 that I had absolutely no regrets. I currently regret that a little bit right now, all though, as I declared back then, those things that I regret are the things that made me who I am...so there’s that I guess...So yesterday I went to Disney Sea with two of my new friends (Joe- I don’t know if you’re reading this but I’m not calling my coworkers that are my friends my coworkers anymore....its a shift but one of truth). Anyways, my friends were Heather and Rob and we are very new friends so we spent a bit of time talking and getting to know about each other. I started talking about me being shy when I was younger, which some of you may be shocked by, but other’s remember “Coat- rack Lizzy” from my early college days. I never wanted to be shy, but I just completely lacked any amount of confidence to overcome that. I regret not getting to know more people when I was younger, in some ways. Fortunately for me, there was a small group of people who like saw through that or something and slowly over the years, I became who I am today. There are moments, especially when I’m put in a new situation (Hello...I’m in Japan) that I’m suddenly 16 again and completely certain that I’m a complete fraud and everyone will discover it at any moment.
I hope this isn’t too rambling, scatterbrained nonsense...I warned you. Lol
Anyways, in some weird shift of time and space, I’m completely certain that moving to Japan was the right move for me at this point in my life, more and more everyday. Even as I watch my best friends’ children grow up through my little like six inch screen, or make a few stumbles professionally. I can see how everything like lined up over the years to get me ready for today. Yesterday, my friend Rob said “If you’re not happy with your life, it doesn’t matter where you’re living. You’re just not going to magically be happy.” (Or something like that) And as I always do, I took a moment to reflect and make sure that wasn’t true about me. But then I realize that I didn’t leave Amarillo (or Montgomery) because I wasn’t happy. In fact, I was very happy with my life. Some of the best people I know were (and still are...I think) my friends and family and support system. I left because I felt like there was a different sort of happiness waiting for me. Again, throughout my childhood I took so long to let people get to know like “me” like the real life version of me, that now adult me probably makes up for it more than she should. Lol. After watching people leave my life for a variety of circumstances and people helping me make the decision to not have them in my life anymore...well, the decision to be myself just seems way too easy. The new thing I’m not doing anymore is using my faults as a crutch or wall or whatever I used to use them as. Now I’m learning from them and working on changing them....somehow...
Oh, since I just experienced it just now...let me tell you about my afternoon...So it is a cold rainy day here in Tokyo, in fact like 25 km west of here or so, its snowing! So instead of walking around looking at cherry blossoms, I went to a movie. I finally saw Captain Marvel in a theater experience that I knew existed somewhere....and of course it’s Japan. So it was a “MX4D experience” like in addition to the 3D glasses, the seats moved around and shook and like air flew around us when they were like shooting and flying and stuff. I had no idea that’s what I was paying WAY TOO MUCH money for, but you know...it’s Spring Break right?
Well, I forgot what else was going to share with you folks...but I’ve probably bored you all anyway. Lol. Plus I’ve taken up one of the few seats inside this warm coffee shop long enough. Time to brave the freaking cold air outside...ugh
Until Next Time..
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